Saturday, January 30, 2010
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 3:56 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Sweet Victory
** ACHEIVEMENT UNLOCKED **
Sweet Sacrifice: Offer someone a sweet / candy / something edible, have other classmates clamour for it, and have none left by the end of that tutorial / lecture.
---
[Lit Tutorial]
Shaowei: *sits on table, table squeaks*
Ms Heng: Please don't sit on the table. I can't stand the noise.
Shaowei: *gets off the table* There's a noise?
KC: Yeah. *shakes table violently* *table squeaks very loudly*
Ms Heng: *facepalms* Shaowei, you mean you honestly couldn't hear that?
Ms Heng: Does "whip" have negative connotations?
Zeyu: Depends who you're talking about.
[Maths Tutorial]
Mrs Yap: Tall... dark...
09A10: ...and Hofai!
Sweet Sacrifice: Offer someone a sweet / candy / something edible, have other classmates clamour for it, and have none left by the end of that tutorial / lecture.
---
[Lit Tutorial]
Shaowei: *sits on table, table squeaks*
Ms Heng: Please don't sit on the table. I can't stand the noise.
Shaowei: *gets off the table* There's a noise?
KC: Yeah. *shakes table violently* *table squeaks very loudly*
Ms Heng: *facepalms* Shaowei, you mean you honestly couldn't hear that?
Ms Heng: Does "whip" have negative connotations?
Zeyu: Depends who you're talking about.
[Maths Tutorial]
Mrs Yap: Tall... dark...
09A10: ...and Hofai!
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 1:35 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Operation Black Hawk
We have successfully proliferated the minds of the classes around us with the Last Supper.
More than 3 seperate groups were seen Last Suppering in our immediate vicinity alone.
Let the Last Suppering spirit live on (and on~)
...on a related note, 09A10 would like to urge everyone not to get caught, so as to prevent a rise in Last Meals from happening.
---
[KI Tutorial]
Mr Tan (posing as a monk who was caught having porn in his house): I’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened, and it won’t happen again… but really, in this day and age, where porn is so releva–RAMPANT –
09A10: HAHAHA
More than 3 seperate groups were seen Last Suppering in our immediate vicinity alone.
Let the Last Suppering spirit live on (and on~)
...on a related note, 09A10 would like to urge everyone not to get caught, so as to prevent a rise in Last Meals from happening.
---
[KI Tutorial]
Mr Tan (posing as a monk who was caught having porn in his house): I’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened, and it won’t happen again… but really, in this day and age, where porn is so releva–RAMPANT –
09A10: HAHAHA
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 8:50 PM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Lit tutorial
Chewfei: ...and as Zeyu has said-
Ms Heng: AS I SAID! Quote your sources properly!
Max: Use Chicago Manual Style.
Hofai: S. T. Heng.
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 6:42 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Monday, January 25, 2010
Putting it into context
[Lit Tutorial]
Mr Wong: Hofai, I've been neglecting you.
Hofai: O hai.
[Econs Lecture]
Tianyu: I am now become deaf.
Benjy: Destroyer of worlds?
Tianyu: ...what? No, deaf, as in, I'm not listening anymore.
[Randomness at Class Benches]
Eugene: Hey Hofai nice haircut. Did you cut yourself? [laughter] But seriously, you should go sue that barber.
Mr Wong: Hofai, I've been neglecting you.
Hofai: O hai.
[Econs Lecture]
Tianyu: I am now become deaf.
Benjy: Destroyer of worlds?
Tianyu: ...what? No, deaf, as in, I'm not listening anymore.
[Randomness at Class Benches]
Eugene: Hey Hofai nice haircut. Did you cut yourself? [laughter] But seriously, you should go sue that barber.
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 6:31 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Extreme C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER
** ACHEIVEMENTS UNLOCKED **
Last Supper - eXtreme: Buy non-finger food from High School and eat it at the class bench.
Last Meal - eXtreme: Get busted by a teacher while attempting to Last Supper - eXtreme.
***
[KI Lecture]
Mr Tan: All lectures need at least one picture of Angelina Jolie.
[KI Tutorial]
Mr Tan: There was a time where there was no such thing as chicken nuggets. It was a dark time. You youngsters don’t know how lucky you are to grow up with chicken nuggets.
Tianyu: There was only… chicken.
Mr Tan: If someone builds you a building and he says its safe, you have to trust him. …and then it’s declared structurally unsound and the school has to move to Bukit Batok. This building is an example of what happens when you trust experts. MOE said build me a junior college… and make sure that it doesn’t fall down and kill all its students.
*thumps hand against wall*
*hollow sound*
*awkward pause*
*thumps hand against another wall*
*hollow sound*
That is very disturbing.
Mr Tan: They people who voted in the Nazis were not evil… “Ooh, I will vote in a party that will commit genocide.”
[Randomness at the Class Benches]
Hofai: And then pigs flew and batmaan grew and lolcats mudkipz nao.
[pause]
I have no idea what I just said.
Darryl: Just imagine if I published a book. Ho's principle of something something.
Max: All your followers will be called Hos!
Jinghao: All your female followers will be called whores.
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 11:56 PM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Acheivement Unlocked!
** NEW ACHEIVEMENT UNLOCKED **
Last Meal: Get busted by a teacher while trying to Last Supper.
[During Lit Tutorial]
Max: Do you know Cyril Wong?
Mr Wong: Yeah. As a Lit person, you get to know writers and poets in Singapore. A good friend of mine is a very close friend of Cyril Wong.
Max: Oh, because we interviewed him last year for PW.
Mr Wong: What gave you the connection?
Max: Mutual friends on Facebook.
Mr Wong: [to KC] Your name resonates... it has a sort of majestic splendor about it. Think about it in Chinese: 光, light - and to come before light...
09A10: Whoh...
Max: You are a genius!
Zeyu: Which is in decline!
Mr Wong: [to KC] "Some are born great, some acheive greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." You have a legacy on your shoulders.
Zeyu: You're kidding me! This guy?
Hofai: If he becomes President, he must remember me. I gave him 2 pieces of foolscap paper.
Mr Wong: The wilful and wonton rebellion...
Max: The wilful and wonton rebellion in China!
Mr Wong: What does wonton mean?
Tracy: Wonton mee!
Mr Wong: This is different from what Jinghao suggested just 2 minutes ago... 1 minute ago... less than one minute ago.
Chewfei: Euphony...
Ms Heng: Euphony. What's "euphony"?
Darryl: You're an imposter. You phony!
Zeyu: Could one compare this to a pack of hyenas and a pride of lions...
Ms Heng: ... No.
Max: You've been watching too much Nat Geo.
Tianyu: You've been watching too much Lion King.
[Maths Lecture]
Lecturer: Infinity is exclusive, because you can't reach infinity.
Tianyu: But if one doesn't reach infinity, how do we go to infinity and beyond?
KC: Both tutor-tutee must be of the same gender? This is sexist!
Benjy: This is Sparta!
Hofai: This is My Little Pony!
[awkward pause]
KC: ...what?
[Randomness at the Class Benches]
[male]: Don't you think [this female] is a more attractive proposition?
09A10: No...
Max: Would you be scared if we said you were a more attractive proposition?
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 7:29 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Monday, January 18, 2010
SATS Vocab SPEEDBUILDER!
My Husband Nob (aka SATS Vocab Speedbuilder) by ZEYU!
Nob is as aberrant a husband as one could get – well, quite almost as aberrant. He is, in the apogee of hedonistic avarice, the aspirant of asinine bacchanalianism. His often banal and rather balmy banter at home alluded to nothing of what badinage he could sprout at work – which was meritorious, for nothing allays that man’s asperity than a good measure of saccharine chortle – or wifely animus. I should also mention that one such as himself, though somewhat boisterous and audacious, was sadly, a physically amorphous man, save, for that aquiline anathema, which he calls an “olfactory immaculacy”. I, on the other hand, prefer to call it the adjunct addendum.
Now, being his partner by holy matrimony, I cannot at once go on listing all the many faults I find in this abomination of nature. Rather, his acumens are comely too. He is, for one, a most amenable husband among his many predecessors. Being in a perpetually ancillary capacity, he is adroit in the menial labors of taking up the neighbor’s affront. He has also accrued for himself a most admirable collection of accolades for acceding to every son-of-a-bitch-salesperson’s sloppy sales pitches. And if by some adventitious chance he is afflicted by antediluvian chivalry, dear me no! How he balks my attempts to deliver a good’ol roundhouse to that mousey-faced penis whose garden is abutting on our land.
Of course, please do not arbitrate my many idiosyncrasies yet. I am a goodly woman, and my appellation – The Merrywife Catherina – belies the apotheosis of as genteel and self-effacing a woman as can be. Let me remind you, that of the many blunders that Nob has had the chance to aggregate, I, in the form of a most agreeable and appeasing fashion, hid my aghast and anguish, but, admonished him gently in mild demeanor. Thereupon, I immediately absolved him of his abysmal guilt, granting amnesty where amnesty ought not to be deserved. Do not doubt, even in a fraction of a second, of my submission to my husband, my withholding of ascendancy towards this otherwise incapacitated and blithering idiot… The vice of a good woman, they say, amount to the accoutrement of acerbity in her tongue, but having practiced assiduously and ardently in the abrasion of my own oral acuity, I am sufficiently happy to say that my former bane has been transferred wholly to my appendages, whereupon, facing incurable wrath and animosity to my beloved in another of his mediatory attempts, my aphasia was assuaged by apposite annihilation. I pray to our Heavenly Father for the bereavement to myself, and to leave me with the most cherished memory of this ballast, and the solemn pride that must be mine to have laid so greatly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom....
But grief was not for mine to have, for Harry appeared soon after. Now Harry was a bit of a wart, aplomb in his chauvinistic atavism, yet divinely beatific in his benign barrenness – that is, beatific to me, not him – because it saves me the bereavement of my femininity from what we call a bludgeon of otherwise voracity. It also gave me excellent reason to belittle him of his boorish brandish. He was quick to react, and flying up in a passionate fury, buccaneered my being in an attempted bulwark of defense. Of course, that only lent me more reason to burlesque his bristling burgeon in canny candour by pretending to swallow air. The joke was not lost on him. His already cantankerous indignation at once flew into an almighty rage, wherefore nothing I say could cajole him or dissuade him from the enterprise he had so arduously embarked upon. The resulting buffoonery was cacophonous, but not altogether catastrophic. He managed to flush me at some point of time, and managed to execute certain moves with celerity and calibre. I take my bonnet off to him…in commiseration for the brevity of his bravado, and the churlish compunction of a chump.
Nob is as aberrant a husband as one could get – well, quite almost as aberrant. He is, in the apogee of hedonistic avarice, the aspirant of asinine bacchanalianism. His often banal and rather balmy banter at home alluded to nothing of what badinage he could sprout at work – which was meritorious, for nothing allays that man’s asperity than a good measure of saccharine chortle – or wifely animus. I should also mention that one such as himself, though somewhat boisterous and audacious, was sadly, a physically amorphous man, save, for that aquiline anathema, which he calls an “olfactory immaculacy”. I, on the other hand, prefer to call it the adjunct addendum.
Now, being his partner by holy matrimony, I cannot at once go on listing all the many faults I find in this abomination of nature. Rather, his acumens are comely too. He is, for one, a most amenable husband among his many predecessors. Being in a perpetually ancillary capacity, he is adroit in the menial labors of taking up the neighbor’s affront. He has also accrued for himself a most admirable collection of accolades for acceding to every son-of-a-bitch-salesperson’s sloppy sales pitches. And if by some adventitious chance he is afflicted by antediluvian chivalry, dear me no! How he balks my attempts to deliver a good’ol roundhouse to that mousey-faced penis whose garden is abutting on our land.
Of course, please do not arbitrate my many idiosyncrasies yet. I am a goodly woman, and my appellation – The Merrywife Catherina – belies the apotheosis of as genteel and self-effacing a woman as can be. Let me remind you, that of the many blunders that Nob has had the chance to aggregate, I, in the form of a most agreeable and appeasing fashion, hid my aghast and anguish, but, admonished him gently in mild demeanor. Thereupon, I immediately absolved him of his abysmal guilt, granting amnesty where amnesty ought not to be deserved. Do not doubt, even in a fraction of a second, of my submission to my husband, my withholding of ascendancy towards this otherwise incapacitated and blithering idiot… The vice of a good woman, they say, amount to the accoutrement of acerbity in her tongue, but having practiced assiduously and ardently in the abrasion of my own oral acuity, I am sufficiently happy to say that my former bane has been transferred wholly to my appendages, whereupon, facing incurable wrath and animosity to my beloved in another of his mediatory attempts, my aphasia was assuaged by apposite annihilation. I pray to our Heavenly Father for the bereavement to myself, and to leave me with the most cherished memory of this ballast, and the solemn pride that must be mine to have laid so greatly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom....
But grief was not for mine to have, for Harry appeared soon after. Now Harry was a bit of a wart, aplomb in his chauvinistic atavism, yet divinely beatific in his benign barrenness – that is, beatific to me, not him – because it saves me the bereavement of my femininity from what we call a bludgeon of otherwise voracity. It also gave me excellent reason to belittle him of his boorish brandish. He was quick to react, and flying up in a passionate fury, buccaneered my being in an attempted bulwark of defense. Of course, that only lent me more reason to burlesque his bristling burgeon in canny candour by pretending to swallow air. The joke was not lost on him. His already cantankerous indignation at once flew into an almighty rage, wherefore nothing I say could cajole him or dissuade him from the enterprise he had so arduously embarked upon. The resulting buffoonery was cacophonous, but not altogether catastrophic. He managed to flush me at some point of time, and managed to execute certain moves with celerity and calibre. I take my bonnet off to him…in commiseration for the brevity of his bravado, and the churlish compunction of a chump.
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 5:56 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The Lesson By Roger McGough
The Lesson
as bravely the teacher walked in
the nooligans ignored him
hid voice was lost in the din
"The theme for today is violence
and homework will be set
I'm going to teach you a lesson
one that you'll never forget"
He picked on a boy who was shouting
and throttled him then and there
then garrotted the girl behind him
(the one with grotty hair)
Then sword in hand he hacked his way
between the chattering rows
"First come, first severed" he declared
"fingers, feet or toes"
He threw the sword at a latecomer
it struck with deadly aim
then pulling out a shotgun
he continued with his game
The first blast cleared the backrow
(where those who skive hang out)
they collapsed like rubber dinghies
when the plug's pulled out
"Please may I leave the room sir?"
a trembling vandal enquired
"Of course you may" said teacher
put the gun to his temple and fired
The Head popped a head round the doorway
to see why a din was being made
nodded understandingly
then tossed in a grenade
And when the ammo was well spent
with blood on every chair
Silence shuffled forward
with its hands up in the air
The teacher surveyed the carnage
the dying and the dead
He waggled a finger severely
"Now let that be a lesson" he said
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 4:47 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Why Jesus Really Died!
We all thought Jesus Died for Our Sins!
When All Along....
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 4:45 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Sistaz Code
Since the guys have so conveniently overlooked the importance of girls (besides their role for fucking) - WHICH IS BASICALLY THEIR ONLY FUNCTION, the sistaz (with the Z) of A10 have come up with their how-to-survive-the-bro's-code-code!
***
A10 SISTAZ CODE.
1. Do not, I repeat, do NOT fall for ANY guy in this class. (shouldn't be too hard)
2. Remember, you aren't surrounded by them; THEY are surrounded by you.
3. Liberal physical abuse is allowed should symptoms such as but not limited to: despair, irritation, anger, BOREDOM occur.
4. The quantity of physical abuse applied should be directly proportional to the guy's physical size, no more, no less.
5. Act cute to confuse them.
6. When in doubt, accuse male of being sexist anyway.
7. Remove yourself from their vicinity for as long as you can, as much as you can.
8. Shy not away from sexual innuendos. Instead, join them, and pawn them. Then tell them all about your sekrit pron stash.
***
Btw, how exactly was the Awkward Five formed??
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 9:50 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
THE BRO CODE - Inspired by BARNEY STINSON and improved by AWESOME!!!
A10's bro code:
1. A bro is not to doubt the existence of bros or the bro code, nor the validity of circular reasoning
2. In the event where awkwardness arises, a bro is to initiate an "awkward five" (five...silence...five again) till all awkwardness is dissolved or palms are too slippery with blood.
3. A bro is not to lust after the desire of another bro -- condition: said bro must have a chance with said girl
4. KC's definition of "have a chance" is invalid ( She'll do me if I became hot, handsome and musically talented)
5. A bro is not to revealed secrets of another bro -- excpetion: secrets that are not within said bro's knowledge are completely valid -- translation: IT ALL ABOUT THE PHRASING!
6. A bro is to have a "bro" or at least tell really good "bro" jokes
7. SUIT UP!!!!!
More commandments are welcome but must precede "SUIT UP!"
1. A bro is not to doubt the existence of bros or the bro code, nor the validity of circular reasoning
2. In the event where awkwardness arises, a bro is to initiate an "awkward five" (five...silence...five again) till all awkwardness is dissolved or palms are too slippery with blood.
3. A bro is not to lust after the desire of another bro -- condition: said bro must have a chance with said girl
4. KC's definition of "have a chance" is invalid ( She'll do me if I became hot, handsome and musically talented)
5. A bro is not to revealed secrets of another bro -- excpetion: secrets that are not within said bro's knowledge are completely valid -- translation: IT ALL ABOUT THE PHRASING!
6. A bro is to have a "bro" or at least tell really good "bro" jokes
7. SUIT UP!!!!!
More commandments are welcome but must precede "SUIT UP!"
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 7:02 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Guess who's back?
Guess what people?
We're back in school -
Which means more awesome quotes!
[KI Tutorial - well not really]
Mr Shyam: What is the understanding of God? To be God-like?
09A10: HAHAHA
[Lit Tutorial]
Zeyu: Do you mind if I go to the toilet?
Ms Heng: Can you just stay there?
KC: Have I given you rubbish before?
Ms Heng: Yes. Absolutely. All the time.
Nicholas: I drew Antoinette half black and half white because... she's half black and half white.
[Randomness at Class Benches]
Benjy: *stares at Tracy*
Tracy: ...Kua si mi kua?! Want to fight is it?
Benjy: No, just seeing your reaction
[A short while later]
Benjy: *stares at Hofai*
Hofai: ... O HAI.
---
Oh yeah and guys?
For the poor few of you who couldn't make it, we had quite a good time with the BBQ party at Tracy's. Yes, one of the two over-18s invited ten plus underaged male minors over to her place.
Anyway, we had chicken wings, fried rice, and the chefs' special, sausages and (fish)balls. Complete with music from Eugene's portable speakers, which ensured we had the area within a 10 meter radius completely to ourselves.
It was fun people -
Hofai it's your turn next.
We're back in school -
Which means more awesome quotes!
[KI Tutorial - well not really]
Mr Shyam: What is the understanding of God? To be God-like?
09A10: HAHAHA
[Lit Tutorial]
Zeyu: Do you mind if I go to the toilet?
Ms Heng: Can you just stay there?
KC: Have I given you rubbish before?
Ms Heng: Yes. Absolutely. All the time.
Nicholas: I drew Antoinette half black and half white because... she's half black and half white.
[Randomness at Class Benches]
Benjy: *stares at Tracy*
Tracy: ...Kua si mi kua?! Want to fight is it?
Benjy: No, just seeing your reaction
[A short while later]
Benjy: *stares at Hofai*
Hofai: ... O HAI.
---
Oh yeah and guys?
For the poor few of you who couldn't make it, we had quite a good time with the BBQ party at Tracy's. Yes, one of the two over-18s invited ten plus underaged male minors over to her place.
Anyway, we had chicken wings, fried rice, and the chefs' special, sausages and (fish)balls. Complete with music from Eugene's portable speakers, which ensured we had the area within a 10 meter radius completely to ourselves.
It was fun people -
Hofai it's your turn next.
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 7:24 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Monday, January 4, 2010
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 8:57 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
how do i know
～(´ω｀） says: (8:06:52 PM)
confess that i don't like taylor swift that is
max! says: (8:07:04 PM)
WELL TAYLOR SWIFT DOESN'T LIKE YOU
～(´ω｀） says: (8:07:14 PM)
SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU EITHER
max! says: (8:08:12 PM)
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT
～(´ω｀） says: (8:08:45 PM)
HOW DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
max! says: (8:08:54 PM)
WHAT DO I KNOW
max! says: (8:08:58 PM)
HOW CAN I KNOW
～(´ω｀） says: (8:08:59 PM)
IS KNOWLEDGE POSSIBLE
max! says: (8:09:03 PM)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
～(´ω｀） says: (8:09:05 PM)
AAHHHH
confess that i don't like taylor swift that is
max! says: (8:07:04 PM)
WELL TAYLOR SWIFT DOESN'T LIKE YOU
～(´ω｀） says: (8:07:14 PM)
SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU EITHER
max! says: (8:08:12 PM)
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT
～(´ω｀） says: (8:08:45 PM)
HOW DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
max! says: (8:08:54 PM)
WHAT DO I KNOW
max! says: (8:08:58 PM)
HOW CAN I KNOW
～(´ω｀） says: (8:08:59 PM)
IS KNOWLEDGE POSSIBLE
max! says: (8:09:03 PM)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
～(´ω｀） says: (8:09:05 PM)
AAHHHH
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 4:12 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
Ki. Lit. Maths. Econs. History.KILME(H) 09A10 4:04 AM
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians
ARES God of WAR 0 Aresians